Today's Inspiration

Over the weekend, I did one of the hardest tasks I've had to do in a while. For the past 7 months, I dedicated myself to being with this one specifc guy who I thought was heaven sent to me. I won't bad mouth him or try to down play him because to his family, friends, and basketball he was very committed. He even believed in the Lord and went to church but when it came to being in a relationship the balance of everything just wasn't there. So Saturday, I walked away and have had a fist full of tears ever since. I decided to blog to kind of get my minds off of things when I ran across this

Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first.

Ask questions, then feel the answer.

Learn to trust your heart.

For some reason that I can't put into words, these simple words made my gloomy day much brighter...

Been MIA but I'm BACK!

Hey guys! I know I've been super MIA for the end of February but it was with good reasoning :) First, I've been working on my nursing school apps and making sure I have the required courses, tests taken, and money saved. So far I've applied to 2 programs, have 1 more to prepare for, and 2 exams to take. Along with that I have been working my job with these basketball and football players. I try to inspire them to want to learn especially when it's free. I mean knowledge is power, a degree shows dedication, and I wish my education would've been free. I sure as hell wouldn't blow it because of laziness! Next on the list, I've been working out 3-4 times a week and working on my eating habits. They aren't the worse but I have a WEAKNESS for chocolate and well candy in general. I started doing Zumba twice a week and LOVE IT and I've lost 5 lbs, GO ME! I have a new obsession for playing around with my hair since it's getting some length to it. When I went to Atlanta I had the chance to go to target and buy some of the infamous SHEA MOISTURE conditioner. I really like it but I love mixing it with the Cantu leave-in I was previously using. I stop putting the Eco-styler gel on my twists b/c with the Carol's Daughter stuff alone leave my hair is bouncy and super soft. I added this EQ gloss to my list of must haves because for the same price I can have a gloss, heat protectant, and frizz buster all in 1 product. I'll probably edit this post tomorrow with pics. The next important beginning in my life is the relationship with my boyfriend. We were off to a HORRIBLE start and I almost hated him but we had a loooooooong talk after Valentines Day and realized we want to make "us" work and want to put in the effort. It's been a better experience thus far and I'm even learning how to cook for couples. It's a major adjustment because I'm a "weird" eater and can have meat without sides or sides without meat and call it a meal. I also make sandwiches and eat cereal for dinner. He's a small framed guy but he suuuuuuure can eat! Well I have to get some more work done, just wanted to check in and do a little rambling *smooches*

Tears of a Tiger

As I sit in my bed with a face full of tears, I begin to wonder why do I love so hard? What's the point if it's not appreciated and once the renter is done with my heart he gives it back broken? How many times must you give so much? How many tears can you cry, words can you curse, love can you spread, and care can you give until you're empty from being unappreciated? 

Tonight my boyfriend and I had a bad argument ... correction I had the argument by my damn self. He has to go out of town tomorrow and won't be back until Sunday so we planned this nice date night with one another. He had a presentation to work on and I didn't get off work until 9 so the timing was supposed to workout perfectly. I called him once I got home...no answer. Now mind you when I text or call you and you don't respond I get irritated, UGH! SO I texted him, he texted back, cool. An hour or so went by and I'm getting tired at this point so I text him again and he texted back, cool. SOOOOOO another hour or so went my and he didn't respond... I text him again a few minutes later and no response. By this time I'm irate b/c I'm losing sleep to stay up and wait for someone who clearly has said "f**k you girl, I'm not coming over" without saying a word. So finally I text one last time with a face full of tears because not only is ignoring me one of my biggest pet peeves which he clearly knows about BUT this was a night I put off doing other stuff to spend quality time with him and like I said previously he won't be back in town until Sunday. SO not only am I irate, my feelings are hurt. I feel like I've been slapped in the face and fooled by stupid cupid again. Love and relationships are so complex...

Hectic yet Happy: The H's of Life

Yesterday I got a text from my special friend asking if I was happy with life in general (he's so random but I love it!!). I sat back and thought about the question for a minute and smiled. I realized so much has been going weird, friendships have been tested, and the usual chaos but through it all at the end of day when I prepare to go to sleep I smile and feel very content with life.

SO WHAT'S THE 411?
HAIR:
Like John Legend said "Each Day Gets Better". I'm falling in love with my natural tresses and feel more eager to be bold and cut off my permed ends. I'm trying to be patient and wait until I go back to my beautician at home in December but I'm ready to fully rid my self of the creamy crack. Lately I've been rocking my braid-outs and letting the hair go whatever way it want to go. The wild look fits me very well I think. Also I found some AMAZING leave-in conditioner. It's by Cantu and only like $5 from target, love it! I have also changed my products a bit. The Herbal Essences Totally Twisted gel has been kicked out of the basket because it only agrees with my hair when wet and as of now since I still have some permed ends, it looks a mess! So until I'm completely natural I'm tossing it to the side. I've decided to use the Garnier Fructis Leave-in conditioner as a back up conditioner because the Cantu just feels so much better. Also I only braid my hair once a week versus every other night. Like I said the wild look is working, plus I don't have time to do my hair everyday. I found some awesome conditioning moisturizer. I can't remember who makes it right now because I'm in my second home (the library) but it's water and glycerin based and smells pretty cool (it's unique like a better smelling shea butter or something). I'll post more pics of my hair once I find my camera cord, smh...

LOVE:
uuuummm... we haven't gotten that far yet but I do care about him. The other day his teammates told me he thinks I'm one of the prettiest, nicest, most down to earth women on campus *blush*. He's a silly person so I couldn't imagine him saying any of that and especially to his teammates but I've heard many of them say the same thing so maybe he said it. I asked him if he said those nice things and he laughed and said they were lying. HAHA! He's such a dork, but actions speak louder than words...

LIFE:
My mom came to visit me about 2 weekends ago and OMG I had soooo much fun! For a lady in her late forties, she can hang with us "young girls". I took her on a "dinner date" and to the movies to see For Colored Girls. THAT MOVIE DESERVED A STANDING OVATION! I really didn't want to see it at first because I hate emotional, mushy movies but I'm so glad my mom talked me into going because the message behind the movie left me in awe. Everyone should go see it, not only colored girls. Saturday, we went to look for me a new place to stay *long story, updates will be in another post but I did find a place I liked*, out to eat with one of my besties, and then to a karaoke bar. We had a blast! Sunday, we went to one of my bestie's house and my mom cooked dinner for us and my home boy came over. We had a lot of good laughs. I love my mom to death! Oh yea her and my sweetie met each other. He was acting like he was shy, so cute!, but they hit it off pretty well. My mom actually liked him and thought he was a nice guy :)

SCHOOL:
The semester is almost over, THANK U JESUS! Taking 17 hours and working 2 campus jobs may seem easy when hearing it but actually living it can get complicated and very time consuming. The good news is I'll have all of my pre-reqs and get to apply to nursing schools in January. I'm so excited about that part. Pray for me ya'll...

NEWS:
hmmm.... I just had a brain fart and forgot the news I was going to share. Well hopefully I'll remember and tell you all later. Well I'm off to class to do a presentation on the Phenomenal Maya Angelou *African American Psychology class*

~Love, Live, Laugh~

"What's in an Age? Something New, Something Fresh?"

I guess people where right when they said age ain't nothin' but a number. Lately, I've been hanging with my young sweetie, I guess that's an appropriate word for him and we have been having an amazing time together. We're both different from our usual, previous partners, and exceed each others expectations. Like he thinks I'm weird because I snore, enjoy doing the dumbest things, rather have the simplest treats, and love watching football. Now on the other hand I'm at a lost for words when it comes to him because there's so much more to him than what meets the eye. He always amazes me with his poetry, random jokes, random greetings, and how intelligent he his. Intelligence is sooooo attractive to me. We're so in sync with one another, which is weird. When he's looking for me on campus, he knows exactly where to find me... may because I'm always in class, work, or the gym... so predictable lol. He doesn't like clubbing too much and find it weird that I'm ok and even excited for him to go out. We all need a break and to party a little from time to time in my opinion. Plus I don't want us to get too lost into our selves that we get tired of each other.  We see one another everyday and on weekends we're beasically together the whole time (my friends are starting to think we're joined at the hip, haha!). Then to top it all off, he asked to go to church with me without me even mentioning my Christian faith. Religion is important to me and I want my sig-other to share that same passion as I so that scored him major brownie points. Don't get me wrong, he's not perfect and has his "kiddie" moments but the other moments and characteristics outweigh them all. Ok, I'm done ranting and raving for now, it's class time *smooches*

*Be Blessed My Loves*

My Abstract Art

As I sat at my desk and persistently studied, what I thought was another little boy approached my working space asking if I was single. Yes, I nonchalantly responded and went back to my work. He then looks at me and say, "Really? What's wrong with you then?" Now my reflexive thoughts went into attack mode but instead I took a breath and calmly said, "Since you're asking me about my status you must be single so is something wrong with you?"

At first I thought he was another rude little boy who's intentions were to only interrupt my studying time. So when leaving my job he wrote me a note asking if I liked him and to check yes or no...HA! I not only laughed in my head but in his face and simply wrote "I need to get to know you better first". The following day, he gave me his telephone number and yet again I laughed. I mean first of all he so much younger than I and appeared to be too silly and immature. So I kept his number but refused to call. The following day he said, "why didn't you call me?" I told him, you didn't even ask my name and I didn't want to go through a description of myself just for you to remember who I was. He responded, "What's in a name? I know enough about you to not even know your name. I can tell your favorite color is purple since your headphones purple, your backpack purple, and your gym shoes got a lil purple in them. I know you like tattoos and aren't afraid of needles cause you have 4. So what's so significant about your name?" Yet again, I laughed in his face. Inside I was really impressed with how he had observed the little things and excited to finally have had a "movie moment" but disappointed because it was him who I shared the moment with. On the following day, he stopped me in my tracks and confidently said, "Why didn't you call me? You're starting make me mad. Now you're gonna be mad when I leave you alone, I'm telling you." I couldn't believe he had the nerve to talk to me like that! BUT I'm a fan of consistency so I decided to call him and we had a good 15 minute conversation (he had to go to practice). I never thought with that 15 minute conversation a boy 4 years younger than me could be more manly than all the guys I've talked to in my college career...

I decided to spend a Saturday with him and to my surprise, it was awesome. He's the weirdest, nicest, funniest, freest, most creative, coolest, most true to himself guy I've hung out with in a while... We vibe together so well so we'll see how this goes...