In two of my classes we have been talking about Gender Roles, Gender Identity, and Sex. To many people's surprise there is a major difference and when it comes to children and sex and gender roles, it's major deal for some parents. They encourage the child to be different, yet get embarrassed if the child is an outkast to society's social norms... weird, confusing to the child, and contradictory. What's a kid to do when getting wrapped up in society's madness of what we should and should not do and who we should and should not be. I say JUST BE HAPPY! I decided to share a bit of my class response to the topic... PS we get to write freely about any topic pertaining to class so sometimes I get really quirky... Anyways, here goes... hope you enjoy!
While doing my study guide over the weekend, I decided to multitask and watch my favorite show, Law and Order: SVU. It was so weird because almost episode that came on dealt with the topics we discussed in class. Not to get off topic, but I have a scattered brain and wanted to share this! When I went to my Marriage and Family Sociology class last Thursday the topic ended up being about gender roles and sex. The professor decided to show us a film to explain why in some cases it’s best to let “hermaphrodite” children choose their gender when they are ready and guess whom the film was about!! Yes, David, the boy/girl/boy! They talked about his troubled childhood and how he's been so much better since finding out about his past and how horrible his parent were for trying to hide the truth from him. The only thing that irritated the crap out of me was how the talk show made his life seem so perfect since he found out who he "really" was, only to find out from our book that he and his brother committed suicide. I didn't like how they portrayed his parents as "bad" parents and blaming the psychiatrist for making his previous years horrible. I began to wonder if he would've been better off not ever knowing the truth. Ok, back to the Law and Order episode, this psychiatrist had worked with this boy/girl twin who had a similar situation to David. I didn’t catch the beginning of the episode so I’m not sure what made the investigators start talking to the child in the first place. Long story short, the psychiatrist that worked for SVU ended up telling the little boy/girl that she was really a boy because she (the investigator) felt the child should decide on their gender while the other psychiatrist (whom worked with the child all it’s life) felt children where a blank slate and it should never know about its past. When the child found out the truth, it and its twin where furious! The little girl changed back to a boy and one of them killed the psychiatrist (whom had worked with him all his life). This too made me wonder if you make the decision for the child, are they better off never knowing the truth? Another episode was about gender roles as well, which led me to look deeper into the theories about child development and all this stuff about gender roles and identity because its CLEARLY a bigger deal than I’ve ever thought. I was so shocked that gender and making sure their child fits the “perfect” structure for society is a really huge deal to parents. I thought since our society is a little more open in today’s time, being “different” would be more acceptable. In terms of child development, I personally feel children are blank slates BUT with time and development our inner selves gives us a sense of who we truly are once we hit our thirties. Yes, I meant to type thirties. I can honestly say as a 23 year old, I know who I am and that I prefer the opposite sex without a doubt but there are many confused individuals I have come in contact with. As far as my gender “role”, I’m more of a free spirit about it. Who’s to say I’m supposed to cook, clean, and take care of kids because I am a woman, WRONG! I wouldn’t mind having a husband to do those things so I can be the breadwinner and give him the allowance. Also, I was asked would I marry a man that like doing feminine stuff like planting flowers or wanted a floral shop. My response was, “YEAH!” He can sit in the sun and make my front yard look gorgeous or even give me floral arrangements and be the most masculine creature I’ve ever met. Gardening is hard work and the heat is a killer so that’s a VERY masculine job to me. Gender roles and gender identity are overrated topics in my opinion. I feel regardless of being gay or heterosexual, born with a mix of genitals, wanting to be a drag queen, or men starting gardens and taking care of the babies while their wife is a construction worker; just be happy, true to yourself, encourage someone else to live to their greatest potential, don’t be afraid to be who you REALLY are, and have fun with your life because you only get one. I know, I’m quirky and my train of thoughts are different but titles and society expectations can put a damper in your life and daily decisions.
