REALITY...

When the reality sets in that someone you've decided to trust, support, and give your heart to is full of shit...it hurts. It cuts like a knife and questions your judgement on picking mates. You think if you're doing all you can to bring the best out of someone, after a year they would appreciate you or at least wake the fuck up and realize you're an amazing person. You think they would value you and treat you like the queen you deserve to be treated as. They wouldn't shit on you or tarnish the beautiful rose you were created to be. They wouldn't bring you to one of the lowest points in your life and walk away. BUT through it all I realize how strong and beautiful I am. I realize my self worth and I thank GOD for providing me with that...

"Inside the Mind of a... Me" *Open Diary*

As I sit in my bed with a runny nose, tissue in hand, and laptop by my side I start to think about the things that make me happy, things I should get rid of, and begin to day dream of going to a wide open field full of soft grass. I'm wearing a free flowing dress that's fitted at the top and starts to loosen after my waistline. The dress is white with lavender flowers. My hair is in days old braid out. The sun warms my body as I smile brightly and turn in circles with my arms stretched out wide. I run through the fields barefoot without a care in the world. Next to the field is lots of sand and an ocean. I happily sit in the sand and wiggle my toes in it... I sometimes wish this fantasy land was my reality. Sometimes I feel so trapped inside of myself and all I want is to break free. Live freely in a small cozy home where I can run freely in the fields and lay in the sand and watch the ocean waves. I want to walk around my land barefoot and sit on my patio listening to music and write stories...This caged bird is dying to be free...

Natural Make Up...Obsession?

My friends know how much I loooooove playing in make up and often ask me to do there make up when we're getting fancy BUT... Last weekend, which was Homecoming weekend, a good friend of mine who also LOVES make up said "You always go for a natural look". I've never really paid it any attention so yesterday I was looking over some of my photos and realized I may have a secret obsession with this natural look. I even found myself doing it this morning. I typically use the same shades of eye shadow or add some sparkles or lighter highlighter to my brow area but it's still a natural look. Even my lips are pretty much neutral looking... Am I the only one that lean towards this trickery or do you guys go for a different look? I think I'm going to start experimenting more with the looks though...

That's Life...

I haven't posted in a many moons and I really don't have an excuse... I've been really focused on my hair, working, and preparing to go back to school. I started working a second job in June and was SUPER excited and loved my job SOOOOOOOOOOO much. I was on my hands and knees thanking Jesus!! But NOW! That's not the case so much... I'm exhausted! I don't like to complain because I know what the Lord give, he can take away but I'm POOPED! So this was my motivation to get off my ass and buckle down and focus on Grad school because this diva was not created to work two jobs, let alone on someone else's schedule. I love to be free to do things I want, travel where I want, and enjoy the job I'm doing while still having time to be with my friends, cook instead of eating out, take care of my nails, do my hair, and work out. I've gotten my ish together for my grad school application so I'm praying it all goes well. ttyl!

INSPIRATIONAL MESSAGE!

Today I was going to blog about my latest foods extravaganzas but while doing some reading on my newly FAV website, naturalsunshine.ning.com, I ran across this amazing poem that I decided to share instead.... Actually I probably will talk about my food extravaganzas a little later because I had such an amazing experience! Anywho here's the poem...

What Every Person Needs ...

by Silvia Hartmann

What Every Person Needs ...

What we all need as human beings

is really,  just

one single person

to be absolutely on our side.

  

Someone who has faith in us,

someone to really love us as we are,

no questions asked,

without reservations

or judgements of any kind;

  

Just a single person

who will always be there

to help us, protect us;

  

To inspire us, applaud us 

when we have succeeded in something,

no matter how insignificant 

it may seem to an outsider; 

  

Someone who will encourage us 

to strive towards

the best we can possibly be, 

and always, always cheer us on; 

   

Someone who cannot ever be tempted away

by youth, beauty, money, bribes 

and will always choose us, 

every day, each moment afresh;

someone to stand by us

when everything falls apart, 

who will love us no matter what;

  

Someone who will never let us down, 

never give up on us,

never leave us 

and who will always, always 

be fiercely and actively loving of us 

in every way, every day, 

until we take our last breath in physicality.

  

Well, that person is here. 

  

It is you. 

  

And now, finally, we can start

on the road to be that person 

we always knew we should have been -

with a little help from our self, 

our endlessly loving totality ~❤