REALITY...

When the reality sets in that someone you've decided to trust, support, and give your heart to is full of shit...it hurts. It cuts like a knife and questions your judgement on picking mates. You think if you're doing all you can to bring the best out of someone, after a year they would appreciate you or at least wake the fuck up and realize you're an amazing person. You think they would value you and treat you like the queen you deserve to be treated as. They wouldn't shit on you or tarnish the beautiful rose you were created to be. They wouldn't bring you to one of the lowest points in your life and walk away. BUT through it all I realize how strong and beautiful I am. I realize my self worth and I thank GOD for providing me with that...

"Inside the Mind of a... Me" *Open Diary*

As I sit in my bed with a runny nose, tissue in hand, and laptop by my side I start to think about the things that make me happy, things I should get rid of, and begin to day dream of going to a wide open field full of soft grass. I'm wearing a free flowing dress that's fitted at the top and starts to loosen after my waistline. The dress is white with lavender flowers. My hair is in days old braid out. The sun warms my body as I smile brightly and turn in circles with my arms stretched out wide. I run through the fields barefoot without a care in the world. Next to the field is lots of sand and an ocean. I happily sit in the sand and wiggle my toes in it... I sometimes wish this fantasy land was my reality. Sometimes I feel so trapped inside of myself and all I want is to break free. Live freely in a small cozy home where I can run freely in the fields and lay in the sand and watch the ocean waves. I want to walk around my land barefoot and sit on my patio listening to music and write stories...This caged bird is dying to be free...